Hope and help for new stay-at-home moms
Tomorrow, Little Man and I head out to Illinois to visit my dad.
Mister won’t be joining us, which means I’ll be flying with a toddler, unassisted.
I must be crazy. 
I’ll be taking a bloggy break to focus on family while we’re there, and I plan to post the super-easy meal plan with slow cooker recipes next week.
God bless,
Megan
Four years ago, my husband and I had just packed all our belongings into a Penske truck and left our families behind. His job had taken us from Phoenix to Connecticut, and we were about to face one of the biggest trials of our married life.
New town, new apartment, new jobs, new church. Like an earthquake, the big changes we were experiencing shook us up and brought all the problems in our relationship to the surface.
And suddenly I found myself questioning my marriage. With no friends or family anywhere close.
I had never felt so alone.
There were moments when I thought it was all over. Broken beyond repair. Completely without hope.
“Never underestimate my Jesus. You’re telling me that there’s no hope. I’m telling you you’re wrong.” Relient K, from “For the Moments I Feel Faint”
I can’t tell you how much I cried during those dark months. Or how much I prayed.
“God, help. Redeem this marriage. Only You can save it, God. Only you. Help.”
“I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. (Psalm 40: 1-2)
This is what God did.
He turned to me.
He heard my cry.
He lifted my marriage out of the slimy pit, out of the muck and mire.
He saved our marriage.
We didn’t wake up one morning and suddenly everything was just peachy. But slowly, things began to change. Healing entered into our relationship. Peace entered into our home.
And today, our marriage is stronger than ever. Not because we’re awesome, but because He is.
We learned, in that trial, that only a marriage built on the firm foundation of Christ will stand.
I share this deeply personal story with you for one reason — to give you hope.
If you are facing a hopeless situation today, I want to encourage you to invite Jesus into that situation.
Where He is, there is hope.
The pain you are feeling is real, and it is big. I know.
I also know that…
Jesus is real, and He is bigger.
Just ask the demon-possessed man who lived in the tombs until Jesus delivered him (Mark 5: 1-20). Or the woman who had suffered with bleeding for 12 years until Jesus healed her (Mark 5: 25-34). Or the synagogue ruler whose little girl was dead until Jesus raised her to life (Mark 5: 35-43). Or the disciples whose boat was sinking fast until Jesus calmed the storm (Mark 4: 35-41).
No situation is without hope, if Jesus is there.
Invite Him in, dear one.
God bless,
Megan
Healthy, peaceful, Spirit-filled. If you asked my husband or my son to describe me, this is what I hope they’d say.
Anxious, frazzled, stressed out. If you asked my husband or my son to describe me, this is what they probably would say.
(Well, Little Man would probably say, “Mama!” But only because of the limitations of his 21-month old vocabulary.)
I want to start each day in His power, not my own. To wake up, reach out my hand, place it in Christ’s, and count on His power to pull me out of bed. To kneel before Him and place all my burdens at His feet, before the day has even started. To trust Him for the strength to take care of the body He’s given me. To submit my time and my plans to Him and allow Him to direct my paths.
“In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:3)
And so…
I’ve signed up for the Hello Mornings Challenge.
Hello Mornings is a movement created by Kat over at Inspired to Action. The idea is that you commit to waking up for your children, instead of waking up with your children, and spending focused time in three areas.
God. Exercise. Planning.
Now, Kat inspires my socks off. Her Maximize Your Mornings e-book gave me a fresh vision for my mothering. I love her because she encourages us to be better for God and our families, but she doesn’t promote a perfectionist, all-or-nothing way of thinking (which is a trap that I fall into all the time). Instead, Kat encourages women to start small and focus on creating a habit.
Which is exactly what I intend to do.
I want to develop the habit of waking early, to spend time with my God and let Him transform me into the wife, mama and woman He created me to be.
One of my excuses for not getting up early has always been the darkness. Especially this time of year, when the sun doesn’t come up until, oh, 7:30-ish, it is just. so. hard. to get out of bed when it’s dark out. It just feels unnatural.
So I let a few sessions of the Hello Mornings Challenge go by without signing up. And each time, I’d think, maybe next time I’ll sign up. I’m just not ready yet.
And then I came across this passage of scripture.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)
Okay, Lord, I got the message.
So I will count on Him to help me get up very early in the morning, while it is still dark, to go to a solitary place and pray.
I won’t do it perfectly, I won’t always do it joyfully, but I will do it.
This year, I will allow Him to develop a holy habit in me.
Do you have a fresh vision for 2012? What will you allow God to do in you and through you this year?
God bless,
Megan
It must be January. Everywhere we turn, the message is there.
New year, new you!
The diet plans, the gyms, the makers of those revolutionary skin care products. They’d all like us to believe that we can be that beautiful, that healthy, that youthful.
The power to change is within us!
(Well, we might need a little extra help with the whole “change” thing, which is where the pills, creams, and plans come in.)
But here’s the thing, mama. Don’t fall for it.
The power to change is not within you.
It’s within Him.
Only Jesus can make us new.
Do you want to be a more loving wife? A more patient mama? A more effective teacher to your little ones?
Do you want to be healthier? Leaner? More well-rested?
All your hopes and dreams for this new year are possible, if you place them in His hands.
This is His promise to you –
I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean.
I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
(Ezekiel 36: 25-27)
On Friday, I’ll share what I’m trusting Jesus to accomplish in me this year. What hopes are you entrusting to Him in 2012?
God bless,
Megan
Bad blogger.
It’s been more than a month since I’ve posted. A month since my life got swept up into the vortex of holiday busy and travel crazy.
Turns out, my blog-by-the-seat-of-my-pants strategy didn’t hold up well to the increasing demands on my time. (Shocking, I know.)
But it’s a new year, and here’s what I love about the month of January.
It feels like a clean slate.
And here’s what I’m writing on it –
My time is a gift from God, to be used as He leads, for His glory.
Sometimes it seems there aren’t enough minutes in my day to accomplish all the stuff on my to-do list.
But I serve a God who created time, and He — and He alone — is able to help me manage the minutes to His glory.
So here’s my goal for BrandNewMama in 2012.
This blog is for His glory, created to encourage new stay-at-home moms and point them to the Savior who alone is able to gently guide them through these (sometimes overwhelmingly hard) days.
And here’s the plan that He placed on my heart to carry this out.
By his grace, and with His help, I can do it.
And how about you, dear mama? He’s placed a clean slate in your lap. What’s He leading you to write?
God bless,
Megan
On Thanksgiving day, when my heart should have been overflowing with gratitude for the many blessings that God has poured out in my life, there was a battle taking place in my mind.
It went something like this –
Thank you, God, for our home. (What if we can’t afford to stay in our home for much longer?)
Thank you, God, for plenty of food to eat. (What if we won’t have enough food next month?)
And so it went, all day long, thankfulness and anxiety battling it out in my head. Until, finally, the anxiety won out and my mind was clouded with thoughts of worry and doubt.
This is a lean season for our family. We’re making big financial sacrifices so that I can stay at home with Little Man, and sometimes the weight of these sacrifices seems almost too much to bear.
And yet …
Abundance.
This is the plentiful feast we enjoyed on Thanksgiving day.
And yet …
Joy.
These are the boys I get to love and serve each day. What did I do to deserve such blessing?
The enemy seeks to steal my joy. He whispers lies, plants seeds of doubt, and sometimes … yes, sometimes I give in.
And yet …
Truth.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
This is a promise we can stand on, mamas! If you’re worried, if you’re wondering whether God will meet your needs … Know this.
He has, He is, and He will!
God bless,
Megan
Back in junior high, I wanted to be perfect like Caroline Massier.
She was a size zero; I was somewhere near a size eight. And by “somewhere near,” I mean more in the neighborhood of a size ten.
Her tan, toned legs hinted at summers spent playing tennis and laying out by the pool. My pasty white legs, on the other hand, told of summers spent watching reruns of Saved by the Bell and reading Sweet Valley High. Not that I’d be caught dead wearing shorts, mind you.
Caroline was sporting Abercrombie and Fitch clothes back when you had to drive all the way into Chicago to get them. Meanwhile, my wardrobe consisted of whatever my stepmom happened to toss into the cart while she was at K-Mart stocking up on Aqua Net.
I know, I know. Caroline Massier wasn’t perfect, she just seemed perfect.
My grown-up mind knows this. My heart, however, isn’t entirely convinced.
Because at 28 years old, I still catch myself doing the she’s-so-perfect thing. Except now, instead of the most popular girl at school, it’s the coolest mom at playgroup.
I catch myself wanting to be perfect like that mom — the one whose kid has never even heard of Sid the Science Kid because he doesn’t watch television. The one who somehow managed to do her hair and make-up this morning.
And I am weary. Burdened by wanting to be someone other than who I was created to be.
God whispered this to my heart today –
Megan, my daughter …
I have searched you and I know you.
I know when you sit and when you rise.
I perceive all your thoughts.
I know when you go out and when you lie down.
I am familiar with all your ways.
For I created your inmost being.
I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
You can praise me, because I made you — fearfully and wonderfully.
And my works are wonderful; you know that full well.
Your frame was not hidden from me when I made you in the secret place.
When I wove you together, my eyes saw your unformed body.
All the days ordained for you, daughter, were written in my book before one of them came to be.”
(paraphrased from Psalm 139)
So today, I will be glad for my pasty white beautiful ivory skin. I will praise God for creating me and for knowing me through and through. And I will thank Him that he chose me — just me — to be this man’s wife and this little boy’s mama. And I will trust Him for the grace to be the woman He created me to be.
Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to other mamas? I’d love to hear your heart.
God bless,
Megan
I struggle … oh, how I struggle … with discipline.
I’m not talking about disciplining my 19-month old, although that’s not always easy. I’m talking about being disciplined in my own life.
Whether it’s making time to read my Bible and pray, or committing to (and sticking with!) an exercise regimen, or waking up early so I can get my day off to a good start.
I just. Can’t. Seem. To get my act together.
Maybe this is why God’s word says –
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)
I want a harvest of righteousness and peace, for myself and for my family!
This post from Inspired to Action totally encouraged me today.
I’m praying for the strength to “just show up.” How ’bout you?
God bless,
Megan
What a whirlwind these past several days have been.
On Saturday, our state was hit by a freak October snowstorm that knocked out power to almost a million people.
Our neighborhood was a disaster zone of fallen trees and downed power lines, and based on the news we were getting over our battery-operated radio, this was the largest power outage Connecticut had ever experienced. We could expect to be without power for a long time.
Panic set in almost immediately, as Mister and I wondered how we would survive 20-degree nighttime temperatures … with a baby.
Our options were limited. We have no family nearby, and most of our friends were sitting in the dark just like we were.
Thankfully, we had a fireplace in our living room and enough firewood to last us a few days.
God provides.
Mister worked tirelessly, chopping and hauling firewood and tending the fire every hour, around the clock.
We packed on the layers — at one point, Little Man could barely move, he was bundled up so well — and camped out in our living room with the fireplace blazing.
But by the fourth day, thing were starting to look desperate. We were almost out of firewood, and the new firewood that Mister had obtained was wet … meaning it would burn poorly, if at all.
And that’s when a good friend of mine called to check on us and offered to take us into her (fully powered) home for the day.
God provides.
We spent the afternoon at our friends’ home, taking hot showers, eating a hot meal, drinking hot beverages, and even doing a load of laundry.
Sitting on their couch, all warm and cozy, I realized I didn’t want to brave another night of freezing temperatures. Little Man was starting to show the first signs of getting sick, and I had reached my limit of being cooped up in our (now exceedingly smoky) living room.
Our friends offered to let us stay with them, but we didn’t want to burden them with an out-of-sorts and possibly sick baby, so I took advantage of their internet access and booked us a hotel room.
It took some searching to find a place that had power and that wasn’t completely booked, but I finally found us a room at a hotel over an hour away.
God provides.
Mister decided to stay home, so Little Man and I packed our bags and headed out to the hotel.
We were fifteen minutes away from the hotel when Mister called.
“Guess who’s power just came back on?”
God provides.
It was a stressful, trying, challenging four days, and through it all, God was good. And as I sit now in my warm house, enjoying the many comforts that electricity allows us, I have a renewed sense of gratitude for the “little things” that really aren’t so little after all.
A warm cup of coffee. A hot shower. Clean clothes.
God provides.
Are you in the midst of a trial, dear mama?
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:25-26)
If you’re sitting in darkness today wondering how you’ll make it through, call upon the God who provides. He promises to meet all your needs (Philippians 4:19).
God bless,
Megan
This happened today.
How did a pumpkin explode all over my kitchen floor, you ask?
This orange harbinger of fall was carefully selected by Little Man during a recent pumpkin patch outing. Here it is in happier times.
So anyway, back to this morning’s mishap.
The pumpkin had taken its place on our mantel, lending a certain autumnal charm to our living room. It served us well for two weeks, and then a mushy brown spot emerged on its back side. My husband immediately suggested that we throw it out.
Fabulously frugal mama that I am, I didn’t think it was quite time.
After all, I reasoned, the rotten part is on the back side. It still looks fine to the naked eye. Let’s get our money’s worth and leave it up for a while longer.
So there the pumpkin sat, presenting its happy face to the world, all the while quietly rotting from the inside out.
Until this morning, when I noticed smelly orange-ish pumpkin juice dripping off the mantel.
Now was clearly the time to throw this thing out. I grabbed the pumpkin, made a bee-line for the garbage can, and then splat.
Soggy, stinky pumpkin guts all over the kitchen.
While I knelt on the floor, frantically sopping up the mess while shrieking “ewww,” this thought occurred to me.
I’m like this pumpkin.
Because here’s how I roll.
Let’s say I’m angry at someone. They did, or more likely said, something that just didn’t sit well with me.
And here’s what I do — I stew. I think about how wrong that person was, I think about how unfair it all is, I think about the clever retort that I never come up with until it’s too late.
And I act like everything is fine, just fine, thank you very much.
I put on my happy face and conceal my anger, all the while rotting from the inside out.
Until.
It might take weeks or months, or it might take six years, but eventually I will explode, spilling my resentment all over the floor and making a big mess.
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
Today my prayer is this –
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)
What’s in your heart today?
God bless,
Megan
